TV: post holiday revelations

Over the holidays I watched SO much television! My parents and I watched A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott, I watched a couple of cartoons like Rudolf and Frosty the Snowman... and the rest was just a blur... my parents rented some bad movie called, "Deck the Halls" with Matthew Broderick and Danny Devito (huh?) Sooo... after that, I came home to Brooklyn last night, exhausted.. to a house with an empty fridge and a stinky litter box. So, after cleaning I grabbed a bottle of wine, I laid on the couch in my bathrobe with a blanket to watch Law & Order reruns... it suddenly occurred to me.. wow what was supposed to be a night of total relaxation has actually ended up making me feel depressed! All this TV is depressing.. I mean, when the TV is on, your REAL life is put on hold... books are put aside (ok, books can be an escape, but at least you're using your imagination), conversations shushed, tasks aren't completed.. isn't it counter productive? Yuck! I've lived successfully without television for years, and all of a sudden I find that I'm watching at least 5 hours of TV per week... (most of it is Law & Order) I wonder if TV is a contributing factor to so many Americans being on anti-depressants? All of the escapism obviously makes reality harder to digest when it all piles up.

one year

In the face of the new year, people tend to reflect on their lives and for some reason, perhaps the symbolism of an 'official' new year, they look to make changes or take inventory of their personal affairs. I'm no exception and looking back on the past year leaves me in a whirlwind mess of confusion. I feel that it's been monumental in terms of my own personal self discovery and life experience, and on the other hand I have felt more pain, sadness, and total despair this year than ever in my life. What I'm left with is many good memories, many sad ones, leaps forward, huge set backs, selfless love, and unbearable loss. I'd like to think that it builds character:)

It's Christmas today.. I've spent the past few days here with my parents enjoying their company, and enjoying the solitude of suburban life. It occurred to me that I hadn't spent too much time wondering how this holiday would be for me this year... I'm glad for that because I didn't want to come here feeling apprehensive. But, of course I've been re-living being in my parents house last Christmas... conversations had, words that I regret, and the phone call that ended my relationship and my life as I knew it. This Christmas has been a bittersweet one and I'm feeling a twinge of discomfort and sadness that I haven't felt in awhile. I hope it's healthy to revisit it now and again, and since it will be one year tomorrow that it all ended (or began, depending on how you look at it) it's probably normal.

So it's a year later; What do I want out of this new year? I have absolutely no expectations or preconceived ideas about how this year should go. Aside from some professional development and further personal growth, I'm just going to step into the next year and see where it takes me.

Merry Christmas & Happy New year :)

are we so service oriented?

I used to think so, but maybe customer goods and services have been reduced to just goods, but without the services? Traditionally, the US has been known for their "customer is always right" mind set, and nearly every sector of the job market has strived to accommodate the desires of their customers. Over the past several years I've noticed a sharp decline in the quality of services provided, but right now I'm going bitch about the MTA.

Like thousands of other people, I ride the NYC subway every day. Time and time again, I stand waiting for my train and think, what a dump. There is no excuse for NYC to have such a putrid, stink hole excuse for a subway system when many other prominent American cities have beautiful ones. This city represents America to a lot people who visit here from other countries, and what a message it must send. We live in a city full of artists, and we could easily beautify the stations with volunteer projects or urban design competitions... yet the ceilings are deteriorated and black, rats squeak and nibble on garbage that floats in puddles of rancid water, and filth radiates from all directions.

When I moved to the city only a few months ago, I was faced with familiarizing myself with what lines to take, when I could take them, and which ones would get me there the fastest. I also had to (and still have to) figure out when certain trains stop running (late nights and weekend schedules)... One thing that I regularly feel upset about is the lack of subway directions for the public. I still get angry when I get on a train and it's packed... I want to verify something on the MTA map, and I find that one of the two maps that are typically provided are not there, or the train is so packed that I cannot reach the map. Time and time again, I look up above the doors and think, you know, I pay what, 78 bucks or something every 30 days to ride the subway, and I would really like to look up and see a damn subway map... instead I see poorly designed ads (ad space which I assume takes precedence over rider services) ranging from dental services, to Bud Lite ads, to ESL language schools. What my issue is, is what the hell does the MTA spend their massive budget and revenues on that they can't reserve those spaces above the doors for stop maps, which would serve their customers greatly?! Hell, a huge population of people in this city are tourists, and they have no idea where they're going.. wouldn't it make sense?

For anyone who's ever been to Paris, you would immediately recognize where I'm coming from. Paris's metro system has an easy to read, eye level directory at every junction and turn along the way to the train.. complete with directional arrows. Each train features either a map above the doors or a map not unlike the lit up map you see on the new N and green line trains. To make things even clearer for metro riders, often one will find another directory.. a nice, basic, large one right on the wall ( at every outlet on the platform) listing the train's stops.

It seems so simple, and yet, I feel that the MTA doesn't put the rider's convenience on the top of their list of priorities.. We're given "report cards" to fill out our opinions on train service, but are New Yorkers so accustomed to being inconvenienced and poorly serviced that they just don't expect anything more?

Well it really ticks me off. grrr....

winding down

I just got home from work.. it's nearly 3 a.m. and I feel totally strung out but exhausted. Yesterday ended on a good note. My hair appt was a huge success and afterwards, Tony and I had dinner and drinks at the Yaffa. I went home pleasantly buzzed and feeling a bit lighter.

I miss my friends in Belgium. I keep thinking about it and I wish I could make the money I make here over there. I was just telling my friend today that I wasn't even making 1,000 € a month! It's insane, and I have no idea how I survived... well I have a couple of ideas, but I won't write them here.. and no, they don't involve anything seedy. Damn Europe and their immigration laws!!

OK. On that note, it's sleepy time.

my day off

I don't have a point to this post, call it an exercise in free flow thinking.

Today has been long and relaxing, and it's not even noon :) Should I be a dork and say "knock on wood" that something horrible doesn't happen?

I cooked breakfast this a.m. (which is big for me since I'm usually too lazy and can't be bothered to prepare myself hot food) and watched some horrible early morning television. I have no idea how early risers (which I am not.. today was merely an experiment) can watch TV.

Morning talk shows are the pits. Regis and Kelly.. blegh. Their show centered around horrible holiday gift ideas.. one of which was a child's sweater with a big red fire truck on it... are they kidding? My other options were CNN, which I opted not to watch since suicide bombings don't go well with eggs and waffles. Hrmm.. then there was Judge Mathis, Judge Judy, Divorce Court, or Maury... meh

I'll have to write a separate post just to bitch about the embarrassingly materialistic holiday commercials that were rammed down my throat over and over and over... but here's a small recap: ice skating jewelry commercials, couples in cars giving jewelry commercials, snowmen who shop at Zales jewelry commercials, "show her how much she means to you" jewelry commercials... and the ultimate, the Burlington Coat Factory commercial where the little girl's reply to the age old question, "Do you believe in Santa Claus?" was... "I believe in Cashmere" (the kid is like 5, wtf?) :P

After I gave up on that (became fed up with society) I decided to take a looong hot shower and do some personal grooming, (yes I said grooming) so I busted out the tweezers, mud mask, body lotion, and put some Christmas oldies on Pandora.com. Despite the music, I have to admit that I'm not really in the holiday spirit this year. Well, I'm usually not... but this year especially. What I like about Christmas is the smell of pine, the TV holiday log, watching the "A Christmas Story" marathon on TBS, and hanging out with my parents. Ok.. maybe I like Christmas lights. Living in this city is rough though, it's a mecca for shopping and spending money and I just can't swallow it all even if it's packaged in "holiday cheer", and if that makes me a Grinch, I'm fine with that! I'm not the one waiting on line in the cold for a wii.

What's in the near future? I have a hair appointment at 4... something drastic is going to happen there, I can feel it.

Final thoughts? I really don't care for Harry Connick Jr.

cheers

a country of retards

What's wrong with America? Just looking at that sentence makes me think I should write a weekly post bearing that name... because baby, my list is loooong.

The other day I looked on the Yahoo page and below was the list of top searches for the day. Now I'll admit, it probably has something to do with the fact that it's Yahoo. I'm going to look at some other popular web pages to see if the results are equally pathetic.

Today's Top Searches

1. Aaron Rodgers (sports guy)
   
2. Jennifer Love Hewitt (ok.. what has this chick done recently to be #2? Is she in FHM this month or something?)
   
3. Julia Roberts
4. Steve Fossett (aviation adventurer... cool job title)
   
5. Financial Planning (just a thought.. the people who write that stuff are so smart. We spend millions on books to learn how to get out of debt, and yet.. do you know ANY Americans with no debt? 2 + 2 = 5)
   
6. Christmas Lights
7. Joe Paterno (sports guy)
   
8. Chili Recipes (hello? randomness?)
   
9. Buddhism
10. Amtrak

Hrmm... a top ten list based on where people's heads are and the last 3 are chili, Buddhism, and Amtrak.

I'm speechless.

the many faces of me

So the other day I Googled myself. I wasn't surprised to find a lot of other people with my name on the first several pages of the search result. The only evidence of me on there were from when I lived in Belgium and used to post on expatica.com looking for friends and work... it is interesting though, to see what these other same namers are doing, and why they've ended up on the internet. You should try it...

I managed to find out that there's a guy with my name who's in prison and is looking for pen pals... maybe I'll write him? "Hey Shannon, it's Shannon" Actually, if I'm not mistaken, this guy is a member of Aryan Nation... why me?

Another amusing link that I found was the following blog post. Apparently, the person who wrote it has a friend with my name, and has no qualms about writing embarrassing things about them. I chuckled at the blog because it's just cute, and also at the fact that this same named friend of theirs has "penis phobia" :)

Enjoy.

Thursday, June 19, 2003

Let's see. It's the 19th, and the last I blogged was the 15th. So I shall blog now!

Well, I think the biggest thing is that I reorganized and cleaned my room. I took down all my NSYNC stuff except one wall and like 3 posters. When I was taking them down, I became very sad. I realized that I had grown up. The only reason I'm bummed about growing up is because I feel I missed a lot. At the Institutes (my old school) I was expected to be very mature and had to uphold a lot of responsibilities. So, even though I was 13 I felt much, much older. We kept color coded schedules. We got in trouble if we didn't keep them. I don't know I just wished I could be a kid to make up for lost time.

But anyway, my room looks really cool and I like the new layout to it. I guess you'll all have to take a peek.

Hung out with Shannon M..er and Chad Gant yesterday. We went to Barnes and Noble. Looked at sex books and tried to find lesbian sex for Shannon. No lesbian sex was found. Concluded that Shannon has a penis phobia (!!!) and then went to the psychology section but got sidetracked when we passed the sex and relationships section again. Oh well. We said hi to Sly because he was working. He gave me a button. I put it on my shoe.

I didn't know Chad was really into Harry Potter. What fun! I'm going to get him Harry Potter in Spanish when his birthday comes around again, b/c he looked at it and was like whoa.

I don't have much else to say. I helped Sage have a revelation last night. The outcome was quite good.

I miss Alison. I'm going to make her a picture and send it to her. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Ta ta, I must take a shower.